Kit Harington Managed Not to Look Mariah Carey in the Boobs
Image via Getty.
Kit Harington had an interaction with
Mariah Carey in which he would have been free
to glance at her breasts, but instead he made a conscious,
adult decision to do the right thing. The Sun has
“She was wearing a really low cut dress and he was being very
polite and looking her directly in the eye.”
Also Mariah Carey is making a new album!
Prince William finally succumbed to
years of unrelenting palace mockery and said haha, very
funny, guys, and shaved off the last precious follicles,
effectively bidding goodbye to head hair forever. For Queen and
country. To accept the march of time and age. It’s never coming
back. Every glance at Harry is a reminder that he will die
bald. Certain new extended family members can
stop buying him “ginger hair hat”
gag gifts now. But now people are speculating that he’s
trying to outshine Harry and Meghan with his new shiny bald
existence!! Which is
SO shiny!! Stop looking!
Also in Markle fan fiction, the Royal Bride
continues to spit in the cold eyes of palace
wedding tyrants who have previously denied her her
selection of party venue. From US Weekly’s latest, via
Celebitchy, she has allegedly already picked out the dress,
will be doing her own menu, and “the former Suits star has a
‘huge say’ in every detail, says the source.” She may even have
own flower girl.
Also I was inclined to cheers to Kate
Middleton’s gaily peeing relative, but not a nice man,
Uncle Gary. Newly released from rehab
after punching his wife in the face, Kate Middleton’s uncle had
a “wild night out” brawlin, peeing, eating McDonald’s, boozing
(possibly in that order), for no other reason than
to shame the kingdom, and now The Sun has fuzzy
surveillance photos which are the worst.
I hope Justin Timberlake was prepared to stop
and give Perez Hilton 50 laps around the Planet Hollywood
Resort & Casino grounds because in an interview with Beats
1 radio, he
dismissed the idea of a Vegas residency as “planning your
retirement.” He knew full well
who he was talking about.