Snorting Chocolate Is a Thing Now 

Photo: Facebook

Some people are always going on about how much they love
chocolate, that it’s so good they want it injected directly
into their blood stream. “Give me a hit of that sweet, sweet
chocolate!” they scream.

So when I learned from the
Washington Post today that snortable chocolate is a
thing now, I didn’t bat an eye. My first thought was: of
course, I know this, I’ve alway known this. My second: wait,
should I have already been doing this?

The team behind Coco Loko, a chocolatey powder being peddled as
a drug-free stimulant for $12.50 a bottle (they sell more than
40,000 of these per month!), would have you believe that
snorting chocolate is a novel idea. Coco Loko’s Orlando-based
parent company, Legal Lean—which sounds like an illegal
weight-loss brand—claims the product contains cacao powder as
well as ingredients commonly found in energy drinks, such as
gingko biloba, taurine and guarana. Legal Lean’s founder is
29-year-old Nick Anderson, who told the Post that he
first heard about the “chocolate-snorting trend” in Europe a
few months ago. Now Anderson is convinced that snortable
chocolate “is the future.”

In fact, snortable chocolate has been kicking around Europe for
at least a couple years. In 2015 a Belgian chocolatier was selling a device that
shoots two small bumps of cocoa powder up your nose for
you
. These chocolate snorting kits cost $109 a pop.

Also, given how passionate people are about chocolate and
sticking substances up their noses, I’m sure it’s been tried
since long before any of us were born. It only wasn’t until
very recently that you could pay too much money for the
experience of sticking chocolate up your nose. And maybe in the
future it truly will be socially acceptable to emerge
from a club bathroom with brown stuff all over your nose. I
kind of doubt it, but I’m willing to be wrong.

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