Tomi Lahren’s Fannypack Is a National Abomination 

Image via Getty.

It’s nice that Tomi Lahren might be auditioning for a
flagfabulousAF update of To Wong Foo, but
technically she needs to burn that fannypack, just saying.

4 U.S. Code § 8 – Respect for flag:

(d) The flag should never be used as wearing
apparel, bedding, or drapery. It should never be festooned,
drawn back, nor up, in folds, but always allowed to fall
free. Bunting of blue, white, and red, always arranged with
the blue above, the white in the middle, and the red below,
should be used for covering a speaker’s desk, draping the
front of the platform, and for decoration in general.

(h) The flag should never be used as a
receptacle for receiving, holding, carrying, or delivering

(j) No part of the flag should ever be used
as a costume or athletic uniform. However, a flag patch may
be affixed to the uniform of military personnel, firemen,
policemen, and members of patriotic organizations. The flag
represents a living country and is itself considered a living
thing. Therefore, the lapel flag pin being a replica, should
be worn on the left lapel near the heart.

(k) The flag, when it is in such condition
that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be
destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning.

To anybody who has ever suffered a nip slip, Chrissy Teigen
issues an apology on your behalf.

A gift to you, Larry David: Adam Sandler is a knee-toucher. He
inadvertently placed his hand on Claire Foy’s knee
mid-conversation on the Graham Norton Show, and she
swatted it away but not early enough for
Twitter to flip. out.

  • Colin Kaepernick, who hasn’t been hired back to the NFL
    since he started the #TaketheKnee movement, has reportedly
    gotten a million dollar book deal. [Page Six]
  • Woahhh the world does not benefit from a reality show
    starring Casey Anthony and O.J. Simpson, a rumor that’s been
    going around since April. Now, her
    estranged parents say that if she goes ahead with it and/or
    sells her life story, they plan to sue. [The New York
  • Sexbots are “cold, like a corpse,” so they gave Harmony 2.1
    a Scottish accent to humanize her because Scots are warm, like
    humans. Harmony 2.1 will retail between nine to 19,000 dollars.
    [The Sun]
  • A source told the Sun that Mick Jagger is banging
    a 22-year-old. [The Sun]
  • Jeez god. ISIS threatened Prince George and sent out his
    school address, and unrelatedly a USB was found outside
    Heathrow airport containing details of her travelings.
    [The Sun]
  • In lighter news, here’s a harrowing Princess Diana anecdote
    from the former royal chef: “I remember the Princess came into
    the kitchen one day and said, ‘Cancel lunch for the boys I’m
    taking them out, we’re going to McDonald’s. And I said, ‘Oh my
    god your royal highness, I can do that, I can do burgers.’”
    [Marie Claire]
  • JFK’s personal secret service agent says he liked clam
    chowder and still maintains that Kennedy did not bang Marilyn
    Monroe. Also, he think Lee Harvey Oswald did it alone, end of
    story. [TMZ]
  • Here’s Brad Pitt parachuting into LA in a spacesuit.

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