Valley of the Jez: The (Mostly) Legal Drugs We Took to Get Through 2017

Image via Getty.

In our lives, many of us will go through periods when our
natural coping mechanisms aren’t enough and so we turn to
psychiatrists and doctors for the pharmaceutical tools (i.e.
medications) we need to make it out alive. 2017 was definitely
one of these times.

As you’ll find with any population, the Jezebel staff suffers
from a variety of ailments ranging from depression and anxiety
to hormonal acne to freaking ringworm (rare, but true)! Unlike
all populations (sadly), we’re fortunate enough to have medical
insurance that allows us to treat these issues head on.

And so, for the sake of honesty, destigmatization, community,
and solidarity in the daily struggle, we’d like to give you a
look into our medicine cabinets at a selection of medications
and dosages that allows the Jezebel to cope. It’s like snooping
around a bathroom at a party, only you have permission to do

Note: This list was composed anonymously with staffers
voluntarily adding their information to a document. These are
not the medications taken by one individual (who would probably
be dead), but several. Please don’t think that we’re all taking
each and every one of these medications everyday.

  • 125 mg of Sertraline daily (generic name for Zoloft) for
    anxiety. (User adds: “I don’t always think it works, but
    then I go off it for awhile and realize that it was actually
    working really well because my natural anxiety is
  • 150 mg of Bupropion daily (generic name for Wellbutrin) for
    depression. (User adds: “One of the best things that’s ever
    happened to me.”
  • ~400 mg of ibuprofen weekly because shit hurts.
  • Weed pen with THC and CBD oil as needed.
  • 10 mg of Escitalopram (generic name for Lexapro) daily.
    (User adds: “I often self-diagnose 20 mg if I feel like I
    need it.”
    ) (And adds further: I also am
    pretty sure I need to get something for anxiety
  • Started smoking weed again this year after about 12 years
    of not (indica, from a pen)
  • 100 mg Sumatriptin (Imitrex), a migraine pill, as needed.
    (User adds: “Good.”)
  • 500 mg Naproxen tablets, for migraines as needed. (User
    adds: “It’s fancy Aleve.”
  • Filled a prescription for 25 mg of Sertraline, but never
    used it.
  • .25 mg Xanax, as needed.
  • .025% Tretinoin cream nightly (User adds: “For wrinkles
    and hormonal acne!!!!”
  • Aczone 7.5% Gel Pump morningly (User adds: “Just the
    acne this time!”
  • Weed, weed, all kinds of weed, but mostly indica out of a
    pen for nighttime and a wide range of sativa for days I have to
    face the world, but not work. (User adds: “For stress and
    the continued burden of being alive.”
  • 25 mg of Fluvoxamine daily
  • 100 mg of Buproprion daily
  • Vitamin D (User adds: “But I keep forgetting to take
  • Weed
  • Retinol (User adds: “To keep my face from looking
  • 10 mg of Escitalopram, an SSRI for anxiety and depression,
    every night at 10:30pm
  • 100mg Sumatriptin (generic for Imitrex) for migraines, as
  • Weed out of a bowl I bought in 2005, for sanity, general
  • Differin for acne which I rudely still have as an adult.
    (User adds: “Can’t blame Trump for this, but it did come
    back during the election.”
  • Steroid creams, various, none of which have worked, for
  • Lotrimin, for ringworm. (User adds: “I got it at the
    gym and it refuses to go away

Cheers and Happy New Year to the medical professionals and weed
dealers who keep us all standing! (We do not advise that you
drink while medicated.)

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